December 18, 2015 § Leave a comment
Do you know that song?
I’m listening to that song, the one with the lyrics about the world having enough beautiful things, and what it really needs is love. I think to myself, there sure is a lot of that going on – wishing for more love, peace, and joy. In fact we currently are in the season that is famous for extending wishes for love, peace and joy. Christmas cards, social media status updates, ads on TV and radio. SO many wishes.
I have an alternative suggestion. Let’s not wish, let’s BE.
Having recently left my home province of 40 years and moved across the continent to a new country and city, I have become quite familiar with the feeling of longing.
I long for my family, for my friends, for my home. I long for the things I can no longer touch or see, largely because I can no longer touch or see them.
When we lose a loved one, we very quickly fall into the downward spiral of recalling every amazing thing they brought into our world, grieving their loss deeper with each recollection, and forgetting any annoying thing they ever tortured us with. We search our minds for the memories, so we can feel closer to them, to feel like they are still with us. And we feel better. We feel love, peace and joy, at having shared those memories with them.
I recall my “old life” with similar fondness, like I am grieving, so much so that it becomes romanticized in the same way:
I miss the 600 metre driveway that I used to curse every time that it swallowed my vehicle in a snow drift while trying to get the kids from the bus stop. But how lovely the morning jogs were on that driveway while the sun was coming up. Breathtaking.
I miss the backyard that used to cause me hours, days, and sometimes weeks of sore muscles from landscaping and garden care. But the joy and fulfillment I felt upon completion of each flower bed, gazing upon them with a feeling of accomplishment.
I miss my family members whose Christmas gatherings were preceded by hours of grocery shopping, cooking and baking so my family of six would not show up without our contribution to the meal. But the soft place to land of being with loved ones who love you just as you are is irreplaceable.
I miss my friends who I often missed anyway during this season even when I was at home, cause the treadmill we were all on preparing for the holidays was frequently set to “sprint”. But they were close enough to slip in a coffee date or a play date and enjoy the ease of conversation with a “bestie”.
The whole thing is distracting enough to miss the present moments currently being offered to us, moments full of new experiences and opportunities for expansion. Occasions to try new paths, gain fresh perspectives, develop treasured relationships. Gifts.
So let’s not wish for love, and joy, and peace. Let’s BE those things. Instead of offering wishes of love to someone, tell them instead what you love about them. If you are tempted to fall into the usual “sending joy to you” sentiment, wrap up a treat that you know they secretly fancy, and breathe in their delight when they exclaim “how did you know?!”. And when you intend to pray for peace, imagine yourself without the things that create peace in your world. Imagine them lost to you. Search your mind for the memories, so you can feel closer to them, feel like they are still with you, and then revel in the realization that THEY ARE STILL WITH YOU. Now share it. Live the gratitude. Be the love, peace and joy.